nortendgrrl, by Katherena Vermette

Kandi got her first tattoo today. On her right hand - the chubby bit between her thumb and first finger. It's a homemade, a blurry green like it's all fuzzy. It's a cross. Crucifix. Thick with curved points like triangles at the ends. Pointing down the back of her hand.

She likes it. She thinks it's like if she puts her hand up she belongs to Jesus. But if she puts it down - Satan.

She had a scar there. A burn. On the back of her hand. It was red a long time but turned into a blueish white blotch. Her boyfriend Dutchie said that was the white part of her and laughed. She was embarrassed.

She got the burn at her first real day at her first real job. She had done babysitting and stuff but this was different. A friend of her mom's got her a busboy job at the Convention Centre downtown. She had to buy a white shirt and wear black pants. She was trying really hard but got so uptight and nervous balancing all those heavy glasses on the tray she ended up accidentally knocking over a coffee maker.

Everything smashed and glass got everywhere and hot coffee got all over her new white shirt and her hand. She broke a lot of glasses and yelled, "Fucking hell!" before she could help it. The lady in charge screamed at her, "Get in the kitchen." All mad like it was her fault. Kandi ran into the bathroom and wrapped her stinging hand in soaked toilet paper and then left the stupid convention and never went back. She got a cheque in the mail about a week later, three hours pay, enough for a pack of smokes...